


(And Baby If I Was in Demand) You Would Be Mine

by Taste_of_Suburbia



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood Drinking, Coma, Demon/Human Relationships, Denial of Feelings, Drama, Dreams, Emotional Manipulation, Episode: s04e16 On the Head of a Pin, F/M, Family, Guilt, Hole - Freeform, Hospitals, Hurt Dean Winchester, Kidnapping, Matthew Good Band - Freeform, Romance, Ruby smacking some sense into Sam, Tragedy, Unresolved Romantic Tension, genteensybang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 07:07:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1460359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taste_of_Suburbia/pseuds/Taste_of_Suburbia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam’s life has resorted to nothing but Dean lying in a hospital bed. Ruby gets an idea and shapes Sam’s life forever. Or in which Ruby kidnaps Sam, ties him up and tries to smack some sense into him, all the while battling her simultaneous ‘kind of just in the past’ feelings for Dean. Canon Divergence from the Season 4 episode ‘On the Head of a Pin.’</p>
            </blockquote>





	(And Baby If I Was in Demand) You Would Be Mine

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Genevieve/Ruby 2.0 Teensy Bang (genteensybang). 
> 
> Huge thanks to my beta and best friend Julia. 
> 
> The stunning and absolutely gorgeous banner found directly below, as well as the icons featured throughout, were made by the incredible lightthesparks. Please go check out all the art for this fic [HERE](http://lightthesparks.livejournal.com/103516.html) and give the art (and her) some love. 
> 
> The title is from Matthew Good Band’s ‘Suburbia’ and the lyrics come from Hole’s ‘Doll Parts.’

  

 

_~I want to be the girl with the most cake_

_I love him so much, he just turns to hate_

_I fake it so real, I am beyond fake_

_And some day you will ache like I ache~_

 

Sam was hers, always had been hers, _still was hers._

The reunion with Dean hadn’t added up to Ruby being pushed away; in fact, it was the exact opposite. Sam had pulled Ruby closer, even with his older brother as a tormenting distraction. The lies were thick between the two brothers, tangled up on Ruby’s tongue as she pondered whether it would merely be a waste of time to tell Sam what was on her mind, her take on the matter of Dean’s return. She hadn’t needed to though, he gave his brother nothing and while Sam believed that nothing had truly changed now that Dean was back, he was wrong.

Ruby almost, _almost_ felt bad for Dean. Sure, Sam had abandoned him before, but that was because Dean was dead. Now he was physically here and Sam was just forgetting about him all over again. Never the cause though, the one who had driven Dean away, the one who he believed was responsible for everything. No, he was still fighting to achieve vengeance, hands itching to snuff out the demon who robbed him of further months with his brother.

He was still following Ruby like a needy puppy dog and the demon didn’t care. Ruby loved him, as sure as she loved anything else that caught her eye and held her attention for more than a few brief moments. But maybe she was doing all this as much for Dean as she was for Sam.

After all, Sam may have caught her gaze first, but Dean had been the first to grab and keep her wavering attention.

Now -

Dean is in a coma and Sam is suffering and Ruby is somewhat saddened by recent events though mostly just bored.

As accustomed as she is to dark and dreadful places, she hates them now that she’s forced her way out of hell. She remembers how much she had loved the sun when she was a human, and that was one small reason to make her way back to the land of the living. Now it shines upon her with favor, with no judgment or knowledge of the things, both good and bad, that she has done. Its shifting rays filter out the sharp fragments of herself that she has trouble tampering down, and they bring out a refreshing side of her, one she can breathe in and simply _revel_ in.

This hospital room is nothing like that, and also nothing like the one she had woken up in. She hates hospitals, and this one is no exception. This room is a prisoner of the dark and grim, and the charcoal circles under Sam’s eyes are a reflection of the misery she now finds herself ensnared in. She doesn’t understand why the blinds can’t be drawn, why the sun can’t attack every shadow this place has to offer and temporarily blind Sam Winchester, only to have him wake up again, ready to go, ready to head out of this miserable place.

She hovers by the door, eyes Sam hard as if one motion will change everything. He probably knows she’s here but most likely doesn't care, _can’t_ care at the moment. Ruby’s too bored to feel jealous, and she’s much too sure of herself to be envious of a coma patient.

Sam is slouched in the plastic chair, shoulders hunched and head hanging low. If his eyes are on Dean she can’t tell, but then again, she finds it hard to meet the unconscious Winchester’s eyes either, even if they are closed. Ruby fights the urge to tap her boot impatiently and tell Sam to get on with it already, to hurry it up with the grieving, regret and all that other bullshit that no one, especially she, has time for.

Ruby just doesn’t get it, why Sam has regrets _now._ It’s not like he can do anything, accomplish anything while he’s like _this._

It seems like she hasn’t taught him anything, that the two of them are right back where they started. Ruby having to deal with a broken, quivering mess and she having to deal with her own set of conflicting emotions, primarily the difference between love and lust and if there really is a difference. If connections exist, if her humanity is still somewhere in her, lying too far beneath the surface, needing to be opened up to _light_ again. It’s taken her too long to bring herself back into focus, and she can’t lose it again now like Sam is.

“Sam...?”

She’s trying to be sympathetic, she really is, but knowing what Dean does to his brother, knowing that he drags him down and makes him virtually useless, makes it pretty damn hard to pity Dean and cut Sam a break.

If Sam would blow up at her now then she’d feel pretty hopeful, but instead he’s so quiet and inside Ruby is sighing and thinking about, or rather, dreading the work that needs to be done.

“Forget it,” she mumbles, exiting the room to stand out in the hallway, but her eyes shift black momentarily with purpose.

 

 

 Sam is so angry that he could punch a wall over and over until he can’t even feel his hand anymore, and he’s so damn impatient for Dean to wake up that he just wants to throttle him and scream at him and throw in somewhere in there how sorry he is, sorry that he couldn’t protect him from those dick angels, sorry that he didn’t just kill Cas when he had the chance, when he figured he could just saunter on in here to tell him that he couldn’t heal his brother.

Dean hasn’t felt this alive to him since he came back from hell, and he hates that it took his brother landing in the hospital for him to realize just how much he missed Dean and just how much he loves him.

Ruby is standing behind him, _always there,_ even more impatient than he is for this whole scene to just end already. He wants to say something to her, even if it’s just to tell her to go away, but he knows that no matter what he could say, she would never understand a word of it. She’s the one who turned him into a man of action, made him forget about Dean so he could get on the road towards vengeance for his brother and for himself. He can never thank her enough for being there for him, but right now, more than anything in the world, he needs _Dean._

He doesn’t have the heart or the strength to shove Ruby or Dean out of his life. They both have to be here, be here to keep him sane, he knows that more than anything at this point. But even if Dean wakes up, it won’t change his mind about anything; Ruby will still be pretty much on the top of his hit list.

Ruby leaves the room, her boots echoing softly but neglecting to close the door behind her. Sam doesn’t care, he doesn’t have the strength to turn around anyway. He wants to ask her if she gets it, gets that he needs time to sort through all of this; how much time he’s afraid to know. Sam ends up forcefully blocking her from his mind and glancing up at his brother.

Sam remains with him, with _his Dean,_ hunched over him and watching every rise and fall of his chest. Usually, in the past, he would try to talk some sense into him, beg Dean that he needs him and that’s reason enough to come back. Now, he opens his mouth and no words come out. He doesn’t know whether it’s because he’s angry or whether things between him and Dean have really changed after all.

He longs to reach out and touch his brother, to convince him that just because he’s been distant since Dean came back to his side doesn’t mean he’s distant now. He won’t fail again, he’ll be there for Dean even while he’s hunting Lilith down, he’ll coax him through his nightmares and build up what they had again.

He can’t lose Dean like this, can’t say goodbye like _this._

Sam would wrap himself up in Ruby if he believed that he deserved a distraction, but he doesn’t, he needs to live with this, to live with not having been strong enough. Ruby will just have to wait until Dean’s awake and then until Sam’s ready, and if she doesn’t like it then too bad. It’s his life.

 

 

 

Sam passes her about forty-five minutes later, looking even more exhausted and grim-faced than earlier. The loneliness of the room is so palpable that she can feel it as she stands guard outside, leaning against the cold white of the concrete wall, arms crossed against her tightly and head tilted downward in concentration. Every once in a while someone passes by and her gaze shoots upward, immediately protective of Sam and his ridiculous vulnerability at this point.

There’s Dean to protect too, and as she realizes this it becomes harder for her to hold back. Because Dean deserves to live too, deserves to have his own life, and she hasn’t changed that much to forget about it. He can flourish too, when he’s away from Sam, when he starts actually giving a damn about himself. Ruby smiles without realizing it, though when she snaps out of her thoughts she quickly morphs her face back into neutral mode. She knows the self-sacrificing game, knows what it’s like to live for someone else. Dean will never understand - again, anyway, if he even had in the first place, how _alike_ they truly are.

She can sense Sam when he leaves and she doesn’t glance up as quickly, almost afraid to look at him, even if it’s only his back, which it is. She figures he’s just going to get coffee, so she doesn’t ask, but her gaze follows him until he disappears out of sight and then she lifts herself away from the wall.

Sam would kill her if she didn’t stand guard; to be honest, it doesn’t bother her as much as she thought it would.

The demon enters his room, alert and ready to take action, half-expecting Dean to raise himself up off the bed, dig a gun out from under his pillow and shoot her right in the face. She stops momentarily, her entire world pausing as she watches herself fall to the ground, the deep brown hair of her vessel spilling out around her face like a dark halo.

The last thing she sees will be Dean - Dean _angry and vindictive,_ which is not how it should or will be.

She moves again, immediately making for the bed, head filled with so many ideas but fully realizing that none of them will come to fruition. Sam will lay more than just a hand on her if she touches his brother, even if only to give him peace, but somehow she can’t resist.

The space available for her on the bed is small, but Ruby’s used to making difficult things work. She takes her jacket off and wraps it around Sam’s chair first, wanting his scent to sink into her again and this is the only way she knows how to get it - yep, pathetic.

Dean is small and fragile and just _there_ for the taking, and Ruby is painfully reminded of catching up with Sam again, seeing the drunken, sobbing mess he had become. Dean already looks dead and really, she’d be doing him a favor by putting him out of his misery.

Her hand grasps his chin, gentle and forceful at the same time, taking note not to jostle him. If she focuses hard enough, allows reality to shimmer and fade out around her, she can see her once vessel’s blonde hair framing her delicate face, her eyes taking in all that Dean Winchester is, his pain and his humanity, his masculinity and his _strength._ There was no way she could have kept him from ultimately going to the pit, just like she hadn’t been able to help herself, but she both respected and felt guilt over what he had gone through for his brother.

If Sam paid attention enough, he would be able to see that all over her face.

She looks down at him, at his long eyelashes and his almost peaceful expression, and she shivers when she realizes that anyone watching might even go so far as to say that she’s looking down at him _lovingly._

“I may not have been able to save your ass from going to hell, Deano.” She runs a finger down his cheek, placing the feel of his soft skin in her memory, a warm memory for cold and dark days. “But I’m going to prevent your brother from ever becoming a victim of it.” The demon pulls her jacket off the back of the chair then and slides it on, her eyes never leaving the motionless figure on the bed, propped up and breathing through a tube steadily, definitely unaware of her presence. “Don’t worry, honey,” she soothes, giving herself one last lingering glance, “I’ll take good care of him. Just like I always have.”

With her eyes just barely closed, she leans over and brushes her lips against his own. The feel of the cold tube is startling and strange, but she finds a portion of his plush lips and holds on for just a moment too long, then she pulls away and leaves the room, quickly enough not be tempted to glance back.

There’s no shame in saying goodbye, after all.

 

 

She gives Sam one last scene of peace with his brother, not venturing into his room. She waits for him in the parking lot, anticipating him walking out of the large double doors, waiting to ask him whether he’ll head back to the motel or drive in his brother’s car aimlessly for a while. It doesn’t really matter to her, she’ll go anywhere with Sam, even if it means sitting for four hours in the passenger seat, looking out the window at the road rolling behind them and ahead of them as if they are nothing and not truly on it at all, and trying not to think too much about the fact that Sam’s thoughts aren’t on her.

Ruby could distract him, she’s always been good at that, but somehow she doesn’t have her heart in it.

It’s a dreary day, bringing to mind snippets of painful memories that tear at her as she waits under the clouds. Ruby promised herself she would give Sam time, but it’s so damn impossible to stand out here and wait. She kicks some pebbles around and purposefully stands in the way of exiting and entering cars. It’s endless and monotonous, mayhem just waiting to happen, this place just waiting for her to sweep in and generate some fun.

And then she can see Sam’s sturdy form through the doors and she straightens up. He notices her before running into her, but he seems distant and uncaring. It hurts even more when she thinks about the reason why; it stings like a bitch when she thinks of Dean period. If she can take anymore of this, it won’t be past today.

“Ready to hit the road, kiddo?” She twirls the keys in front of his face, smirking at how irritated he is when all she really wants to do is smack Sam in the face with them. She needs attention too, after all the attention Sam has been giving her since she came back, his neglect now is too much for her to handle without getting really pissed off. She needs to kill something, it’s been a week now of waiting around and sulking.

This is _not_ what she left hell for.

“Alright alright, don’t get all sulky Sammy on me now,” she tosses him the keys and follows him to the car. They parked at the back, away from wandering eyes and Ruby knows how to use it _exactly_ to her advantage. Convincing Sam to let her drive would be so much easier on her part, but she knows she’ll get nowhere with that notion.

Not many people can drive Dean’s baby, and she’s definitely not going to be one of them.

There’s a stunning silence after she slides in and closes the door, Sam just sitting there beside her, looking through the windshield as if in a daze. “You should sleep some,” Ruby offers gently, trying not to spook him. Her hand is on his shoulder, her eyes on the curve of his muscular neck, itching to swipe her tongue across its sweat-soaked surface, jumpy to get a taste of him again, already getting high just thinking about it.

Course, she’d like a side of French fries too, but she can’t _always_ get what she wants.

He surprises her when he sighs loudly, as if hating himself for admitting it, and turns to face her, “You’re right.”

She smiles at him as sweetly and generously as she can manage, “Of course I’m right, and I really am sorry, Sam.”

“Sorry for...?” She whacks him over the head before he can finish, sufficiently knocking him out. She didn’t want to have to do this, but her choices as of late are severely limited. Waiting this long for Sam to smarten up has brought about nothing, and dragging things out is simply _not_ the way to go. She’s doing this for Sam, why can’t he goddamn understand that?

He falls on her and she holds him up with her upper body, her arms wrapping around him momentarily before sliding out from under his massive form and guiding him down to the seat. She quickly slides out of the car and shuts the door firmly behind her, walking over to the other side. Sam will wake up with a nasty headache, but it’s better than waking up to other things.

Ruby smiles at him as she gets comfortable, her hands running through Sam’s soft hair, massaging his temple lightly. He looks so peaceful now, so trusting of her and what she thinks is best.

She snaps out of it, assuming her mantle of responsibility for Sam Winchester once more, pulling her attention away from him and back to the situation at hand. With her hands on the steering wheel, she finally feels as if she’s taken control of both her and Sam’s lives again.

The demon guns the engine - she kinda gets why Dean likes this old hunk of metal - and swerves out of the parking lot and away from civilization, grinning all the while.

 

 

She staked out the warehouse a while back, just as a backup if they should ever need it. It’s a perfect little rundown place, and she definitely needn’t worry about anyone finding them here. If Dean happens to wake up, which he won’t, then he’ll have nothing to go on. And when Sam wakes up - well, he won’t make it far, not without her trailing behind him anyway.

Ruby can’t contain her grin as she’s thinking about it all, the responsibility that she’s taken for herself and she can’t feel more proud of her abilities and the fact that she’s actually made it this far. She’s always bragged that she never had a doubt in her mind, but it was always there somehow, though it needn’t matter now. She’s only too goddamn sure of being able to deal with Sam from here on out. They could last for months out here if they needed to, if Sam’s stubborn enough to prolong his own and inevitably her torture.

Getting him out of the car and into the abandoned warehouse is difficult enough to have her questioning her own judgments, such as that maybe she could have given Sam a little more time, had a little more faith in him, but she banishes the thought as soon as it appears. She’s got more hard work ahead of her, she doesn’t need an endless array of doubts and uncertainties plaguing her.

Relieved Sam’s still unconscious when she manages to get him inside, she settles him in a chair and sets about tying him to it, adding a few last finishing touches such as tying a thick strip of cloth over his eyes, not too tight, and stuffing a rag in his mouth. She secures the ropes afterward since she’s paranoid as far as Sam Winchester is concerned.

The night is dark and quiet, too quiet and too long. She doesn’t have much longer to wait, but she still stands here, a prisoner of her thoughts and her memories.

The demon wants to be the first thing Sam Winchester sees when he opens his eyes, other than darkness that is. She wants him to focus on nothing but her lips on his, of her moving so slowly against him, eager to take him away. Ruby will do just about anything for Sam at just a word or a gesture, but one thing she will not - _cannot_ do is leave Sam behind in her wake.

They’re a team, a _great_ team, and if she’s just going to end everything they have, be second-best to Sam’s own grief and regrets, then she really hasn’t been there for him, after all.

She can’t wait, not even for another hour to pass. There’s been enough unconscious Winchester boys for a long while to come.

Ruby removes the gag from his mouth and kisses him fervently, hoping to wake him up with this, hoping against hope that he’ll lean into her touch and believe she was right about everything all along. If she can get Sam to see how _strong_ he is, how _capable_ he is, that she _believes_ in him -

Sam stirs at her probing touch, groaning in pain and sluggishly trying to remove his hands from their restraints so as to rub his aching head or push her away. She really doesn’t know, but even pushing her away would be the most attention she’s had in a week, or maybe even since Dean came back.

When she thinks about him, how she used to feel about him, how he had seemed to respond favorably after a while to her vessel and shimmering humanity, she can’t do this. So she doesn’t think about him, she thinks about Sam, the same as she’s been doing for too long now. Sam’s the one who needs her help, he’s the one who needs to break away from his brother before Dean ends up truly being the death of him.

When Sam’s struggling becomes less sluggish and more frantic, she unties the blindfold and tosses it aside, smiling at him warmly. Immediately, his face becomes guarded, but as he continues to stare at her she can see in his eyes that he’s only two steps away from killing her, and he would if she would only untie his hands.

“Dean.” Of course, it’s no surprise that that’s the first word to come out of his mouth. “If you did anything to him, Ruby...”

Well, at least they’re still on a first name basis. “Cool it, Dumbo, I didn’t pull the freaking plug or anything. Just gave him a little goodbye kiss, that’s all.” Sam’s eyes widen, though he seems to be more hung up on the kiss part than the fact that it was a gesture of goodbye.

Whether Sam believes her, she really doesn’t know and honestly doesn’t care, though he does change the subject when he starts glancing around the darkened room. “Where the hell are we?”

“Nowhere you need to concern yourself over, kiddo. Just thought the two of us needed a little vacation.”

Then he puts the pieces together - “Untie me, Ruby,” he demands, continuing to glare at her and all the demon wants to do is kiss those lips that are currently pulled together into an adorable sort of pout. “Untie me. Right. Now.”

She gets up from her position of crouching down in front of him, resisting the pull of running her fingers through his long, adorably overgrown hair, and begins to pace in front of him. She can feel his gaze on her, and it makes her feel excited and alive inside again. “Sorry, but no can do. There’s things that need to be learned first, and you need to snap out of whatever it is you’re drowning yourself in.”

Sam scoffs and shakes his head, his face a mask of loathing towards her; Ruby doesn’t believe it, not even for a second. Sam loves _her._ “What are you talking about?”  
She stops pacing. “Your brother, that’s who I’m talking about. You haven’t been this distressed since he went to hell. It’s time to move on.”

“Fuck you, Ruby,” Sam seethes at her. “He’s my brother and he’s in a goddamn coma if you haven’t noticed. He needs me.”

“You’re right, Sam, he does need you. But you don’t need him. Have you completely forgotten about Lilith?” _Have you completely forgotten about us?_

That last statement seems to shut Sam up considerably, and she takes advantage of the situation and continues. “See, you have, haven’t you? I’m actually surprised at your lack of ambition, Sam. If anything, I expected you would have at least gone after those angels, especially that Castiel,” she spits, disgusted as much as Sam is by their last encounter, “who had the nerve to cross you more than once, but all you’ve been able to do is sit around and think about Dean and what you _couldn’t_ do.”

Sam shakes his head continuously throughout her speech, as if trying to convince himself not to believe her. Since when did things get this bad? Since when did her life start getting so damn complicated again? “Dean...”

“Yes,” she sighs quietly. “Dean is in a coma and most likely not going to wake up, and at the same time he’s giving you the chance you need.”

The youngest Winchester boy stares up at her in shock, his eyes wide and so green and so full of hurt, as if Ruby’s breaking him when she’s trying to _save_ him. He’s no longer struggling, and there’s more disbelief in his eyes than anger or fear, but whether that disbelief is entirely towards her or also towards himself, she really doesn’t know.

“What chance? The chance to abandon him, to just up and leave?” As if Sam hasn’t done it already before, as if it’s the craziest thing imaginable to him, even more so than being with her, which suddenly seems like the most sane thing in the world according to Ruby, but probably not as much to him. “Forget it, Ruby. You’re not making me stray from my brother now, not after this.”

“And how is this any different from when your brother went to hell for you? Why can’t you focus on Lilith, why can’t you...?”

“Because he’s my brother, Ruby. Because you don’t get it and you never will.”

 _No,_ Ruby thinks, _because you’ll never get it. Not even when it’s right in front of your face, not even when I’m trying to drill it into your thick skull. He’s killing you, killing everything you can be._ She wants to say this but she bites her tongue; if she wants to win Sam’s favor again then she’s going to have to be at least a little bit sympathetic.

“Look, I get it, I really do. Dean needs you and you’re his knight in shining armor. You feel like you owe him. Well,” she states, “you don’t. He owes you, because he dragged you back to this life, and he drags you along like an abused toy. But I see differently, Sam. I want the best for you, I want you to rise up out of this and realize I’ll be here for you every step of the way.”

Sam lowers his head but she can still see the look on his face. He seems to hate her so much for her words, but even more so for her love for him.

_I could have been with Dean. I should have been with Dean back then, back when we connected, when it seemed like I could have so much in common with him. But I went back to hell, and I’m no longer that girl anymore, and if Dean remembers any of it it’s locked up so tight that not even he will be able to find it again._

She opens her mouth to say something, she isn’t sure what, but it doesn’t matter because Sam cuts her to the chase.

“You're trying to make me see what Gabriel wasted his time on,” his head is still lowered, as if looking up at her will taint him further and it burns surer and faster than hellfire ever could. “But I'll never fall for it, Ruby.” His voice is miraculously shaking though, and she suppresses her excitement.

The demon bends down in front of him again and smiles sadly, her hand tilting his head up to look at her. “You know why you'll end up seeing it, Dumbo?” She strokes his hair, can almost feel the want pouring out of his skin and into hers, the want for the strength in her blood and the taste of her flesh. She pushes it down for the time being. “Because somewhere deep down inside of you, you know I'm right. You know that Dean has never been anything more than a burden to you, a weight dragging you down. He's been preventing you from flying, Sam,” she insists, and there’s a flicker of something in his eyes. “He's been suppressing what you could have been, what you could still be.”

He looks at her honestly and with hope, "Why are you doing this?"

_Because I can’t have Dean, because I won’t let myself have Dean. Because it’s my duty to save you and you’re worth it, Sammy. You always have been in my book._

She has to make him forget about Dean, there is no other way.

The demon settles herself on his lap, squeezing his hip and then wrapping her arms around him, kissing him before Sam can convince himself to go right back where they started. “Because I care about you, Sam,” she whispers against his lips, “because I love you. And I can tell by the look on your face that you don't believe it, but you don't have to. Not until you're ready.”

Ruby allows him to take most of her weight briefly as she grasps the knife out of her back pocket and quickly makes an incision in her arm. With the flow of blood she can almost feel Sam’s arms around her, holding her and warming her up, making her feel _stronger._ She holds the knife to his lips then and he gives in, licking the metal clean, eyes looking up at her so _trusting_ as the substance - her blood seems to light him up from the inside.

The demon reaches backwards and cuts through the ropes binding his hands together, handing Sam the knife when his hands are free. She’s eager to see what he’ll do, whether he’ll cut the rest of himself lose, shove her off of him and make a run for it; slit her throat; make the incision in her arm deeper or -

Sam Winchester cuts himself free, drops the ropes on the floor and wraps his arms around her. It isn’t until he lowers her down to the floor hurriedly though taking great care that his mouth latches onto her arm, lapping up the blood there, his tongue probing deeper, searching for more. She smiles, an arm wrapping around his neck and the other stroking back the hair falling into his face. This right here is _bliss,_ knowing she is making Sam stronger and knowing he is making her stronger in return. She is so proud of him -

So proud to call him _her own._

 

 

Sam is lost in a haze of blood and skin and Ruby’s dark eyes dragging him into the twisted confines of the remnants of her soul. He _knows_ this, recognizes this as familiar and as his _home,_ as being the only place he needs to be. Losing himself in her seems _right,_ it seems like the only thing to do. The very word Lilith is like a mantra being repeated over and over in his head, and Ruby’s blood is giving him the power and the confidence to do good on his promise.

He takes as much of it as he can, knowing he doesn’t have many chances left.

“You've had your fun with him again. Now it's time to get back to work.” Sam barely nods at her words as he’s drinking from the new incision, not knowing how it appeared or how much time has passed but trusting Ruby all the same. He can feel her pressed up tightly against him, her smile stretching across the expanse of his neck, her vessel’s heart beating erratically in her chest. Sam opens his eyes and sees her glancing up at him, a lazy smile on her face, and he feels her writhing beneath him.

He drinks, and as he drinks more and more of his memories sift away. Dean’s smile is now a thing of the past, something he has lost but seemingly long enough ago that he can’t remember feeling loss over it. Ruby is here now, holding him and supporting him, dragging him down to a dark and safe place.

It comes at him fiercely, like a shock to his system, the idea to break away, but he can’t find the energy to pull away from her, not in the face of his basic needs. Ruby pulls him further down on top of her and he looks at her, taking in just how beautiful she is. “I love you too, Ruby,” he admits, something telling him it’s the right time. He swallows the leftover blood in his mouth, its sweetness and boundless energy coating his gums and his teeth. “I just want...” She kisses him before he can blabber on about things that don’t matter, fierce lips attacking his own, convincing him to let go again and he _does._

Her eyes flash black and Sam can’t see his brother anymore. He can hardly remember what he looks like -

 

 

She seems to stop breathing for a moment in the midst of her orgasm, the room pulsating around her like a living, breathing thing then dimming when she doesn’t give her surroundings ample attention. She is alone in this room, only one heartbeat, but just for a second.

Dean is calling out her name softly but with vague purpose, his hand held out to grasp her own and she can tell that his touch would be warm and real and alive. She knows he would be the death of her and she doesn’t care, not in this moment.

It is only in her dreams, but Ruby takes Dean’s hand and willingly drowns herself in the almost promise of it.

 

  **FIN**

  


End file.
